Giveaway night at the ol' ballpark.

One of the conditions of my divorce is that my ex and I split which person has the girls on each of the holidays. In other words, she gets to have the girls this year for 4th of July. However, it was my normal weekend this weekend, so I had a plan. We have a local AAA baseball team here. They don't play tonight, but they played last night. Every year, they have a big 4th of July night (this year being on the 3rd), where they have a big fireworks show at the end of the game. It is one of the better places in town to watch fireworks. Every year for as long as I can remember, I have taken my daughters to the ballpark to watch the fireworks display. They love it, and so do I.

We went to the game last night. For whatever reason, I decided to buy a program. This was strange, because of the probably 50 times I have been to this ballpark, I never bought a program. There has been a lot of movement of players between the AAA club and the major league club, so I just wanted to see what the current roster was.

I was leafing through the program, when I noticed this...



There was a player's autograph on the ad. I got excited, because about three times per game, they announce "Turn to page so-and-so in your program. If you have so-and-so's autograph on the whatever ad, you win!" However, it being a Rooter King ad, I was a little wary about what the prize would be. I figured it would be some sort of a gift certificate to get work done. While maybe not the ideal prize, I suppose I could use some work. One of my toilets has been a little sluggish lately, so it wouldn't be a total waste.

Sure enough, in the fifth inning, they called out my ad. My youngest daughter and I excitedly went to guest relations to claim our prize. I felt like the dad in The Christmas Story, waiting to see what the fantastic prize was. Then, the lady gave me my prize. Here it is, in all its glory...



That's right, I was the proud winner of a plunger. Not just any plunger, a Rooter King plunger. I walked back disappointed to my seat. I finally win something, and it was a freakin' plunger. (Side note: The blogger spell checker wanted to replace freakin' with foreskin. I found the thought of a foreskin plunger very funny. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. Sue me). The people around me thought this was the funniest thing ever. It did, however, have that nice new plunger smell. Which I can assure you is MUCH better than used plunger smell.

Fast forward to late in the game. The home team was losing by three. They weren't hitting the ball at all. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It was at that point that I had a stroke of genius. Yes, it was time to bring out...

THE RALLY PLUNGER!!

I grabbed the plunger, and began to wave it around, cheering loudly. Everyone around me thought that I had lost my mind. My oldest daughter was predictably mortified, while my youngest thought it was kind of funny.

But strange things started happening. The first batter walked. Then the second batter got a hit, advancing the runner to third. I started making more noise, and waving my plunger around. Then, the next batter hit a pop up a mile high. I was jumping around, waving my plunger at the second baseman, making what can best be described as plunging sounds.

He dropped it!

Now everyone in my section was taking notice of the rally plunger. That ball never gets dropped. Never. Bases were loaded with no outs. Others around me were telling me to keeping plunging. The next batter gets a hit. Two runs score. We are now down by one, with runners on first and third, and nobody out. The other team changes pitchers. At this point, I have made my entire section believers in the power of the rally plunger. The stadium organ would play the CHARGE song, only we would all shout PLUNGE! And no, I wasn't drinking. I can't speak for the rest of the section, though.

The next batter hit into a double play, which wasn't good, but the runner on third scored, tying the game. Two outs, nobody on base. The crowd was going wild, at the nice comeback. Our section was going even wilder, due to the absurdity of the rally plunger.

At this point, I had an interesting conversation. A guy walking by sees my waving the plunger, generally going nuts. The conversation went like this...

Guy: What is that?
Me: It's a plunger.
(pause)
Guy: You brought a plunger to a baseball game?
Me: No, I won it.
(longer pause)
Guy (incredulously): You WON a plunger at a baseball game?
Me: Hey, I don't pick the prizes, I just win 'em!

The next batter comes up, and cranks it over the left field wall. Game over, comeback complete. The fans in my section all wanted to touch the magical rally plunger, but I kept it safe. Like King Arthur and Excaliber, only I could harness the powers within the rally plunger. In the wrong hands, it could be used for the powers of evil. However, unlike Excaliber, it doesn't have a catchy name. I might have to work on that one.