A graduation letter to my daughter

My oldest daughter is graduating high school next week. I'm a guy who keeps his feelings pretty close to his vest, so I wanted to let her know how I really feel. I'm planning on giving her this letter on graduation day.

It’s hard for me to believe that you are actually graduating high school. Wait, that sounds bad. I don’t mean I’m surprised you can do it, I mean it doesn’t seem possible that it has happened so soon.

I remember when I got the telegram on the boat that I had a baby girl. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I got the telegram in the middle of a drill, and was getting scolded for not taking the drill seriously, but I didn’t care. I was on cloud nine the entire rest of the patrol, and couldn’t get home soon enough. And when I finally got home, I remember thinking you were one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. I still feel the same way eighteen years later.

I remember holding your hand with you as we walked to school on your first day of kindergarten. I was wondering if you would be one of those kids that would cry and carry on. Nope, you couldn’t run into the classroom quick enough. I guess I should have realized even back then that it was a sign of your maturity and independence. I still see a lot of that in you today.

I remember when your mom and I split up. [Your sister] was always crying and upset, but you never let on with how you felt. I know it hurt. I could tell by how you always wanted to wear black, and with your poems. I wish I could have done a better job of comforting you two, but I was going through my own hurt as well. I know it was a horrible time for all of us, but I learned something about you during that time. You showed considerable poise and grace during a difficult time.

But I want you to know, you don’t have to be that way with me. You will always be able to tell me anything, and I promise I won’t judge you. I can’t promise I won’t get upset, but I can promise I won’t judge, and will do my best to help out however I can. Besides, there’s only room for one person in this family who hides their emotions, and I was here first.

And that’s why I’m giving you this letter. I wish I had the courage to be able to say these things to your face. But that’s not me. I’m not a lovey-dovey kind of guy. I’m sure you figured this out by now. I never had a role model on how dads were supposed to act. With you, it was definitely on-the-job training. I’ve joked about how with you, I did all my screw ups, so with [your sister] my parenting will be better. I think even though it’s a joke, there’s a little truth to it. I’ve learned a lot with you.

When I got mad and took away your bedroom door, deep down I was wondering if I had gone too far. When I give you crap about your hair, I wonder if I’m going about it the right way. When I argue with you about the clothes you wear, and make you change into something different…well in this case I KNOW I’m right, so I don’t wonder about it at all. ;)

I guess this is just a long way of getting to a point I’m trying to make with you. Everything I’ve ever done, whether it was good or bad, whether it worked or not, was because I wanted to make sure my kids turned out better than me. It was because I wanted to make sure neither of you girls got hurt. And it was because when this day came, I wanted to make sure you were ready for it.

And you are ready for it. Whenever I sit and wonder if I’ve done a good job of raising you, all I have to do is look at the lady you’ve become. If I had screwed up too badly, there is no way you would be as intelligent, thoughtful, creative, funny, and loving as you are.

I don’t tell you this anywhere near enough, but I am really proud of you. I absolutely adore the woman you have grown into. I love you so very much, and that is why today is one of the best days of my life, and also one of the toughest. It’s one of the best, because you are now ready to get out there and take on the world, and I know you can do it. But it’s one of the toughest because I am going to miss you terribly when you go away to college.

So make sure you do great in college. I’d hate after writing all this sentimental stuff to have to go up there and kick your butt.

I love you.

Dad

So is this a bad idea? It is so out of character for me, but I want to make sure I give her something to remember on her grad night. Those of you who are daughters, any thoughts?