Or is it intraleague? I can never remember. Let's go to the game. As an aside, I'm also keeping track of the UCLA-Missouri softball game, as the winner of this series will face the Devils in the Women's College World Series.
Top of 1st: Lopez was hurt in last night's game, so Augie gets the start at 2B. Ryan Roberts gets a rare start at 3B, and leads off with a long fly ball. Parra batting 2nd, and I am loving this guy. He just got called up from the minors a few games ago, and has been just tearing it up. Some dude named Outman (good pitchers name) is pitching for the A's, and his socks are ridiculous. Old school, 70's style socks. Parra continues to be awesome, and draws a walk. Upton is the DH today, batting 3rd. Outman struggling with his control early, and gives up a hard line drive on 3-1 count. Upton with the double, runners on 2nd and 3rd with 1 out. Stephen Drew, hitting under .200, batting cleanup. Hinch is a genius. Oops, my bad, he's hitting .203 after a good game last night. He hits a dribbler to short, but it's enough to score the run. Special K is up, and he's been pretty good this year. He hits a grounder to end the inning, but the D-Backs are up 1-0.
Bottom of 1st: UCLA up 1-0 after 2 innings. Hey, it's Mr. Agility pitching today. He's been OK this season. His ERA isn't so hot, but for whatever reason, the team seems to hit for him. Drew throws Cabrera out on a nice play. Kennedy hits a little blooper in the Bermuda triangle to get to first. Byrnes the Clown is playing left, and bobbles a routine fly ball, but holds on for the second out. Did you see that play the other day when he "tossed" the throw into the left field bullpen. Awesome. That guy is a disaster in the field. The phone rang and I missed the third out.
Top of 2nd: Snyder leads off with a high fly ball to left. Byrnes the Clown hits a little broken bat blooper to left, and hustles to get to 2nd. I have to give props, that was good hustle. Hey, it's Augie!! RBI opportunity here, but he's been a little cold of late. Augie crushes one, but it's hit right at the CF. 2 outs. Young continues to struggle with a fly out to Buck (former Devil) in right.
Bottom of 2nd: UCLA still up 1-0. Maybe my timing is bad, but there's been a serious lack of hotness in that game. I expect more from UCLA. Giambi up, and I haven't noticed how gray his beard is. Is that a side effect of steroids? He grounds out to first. Speaking of gray beards, now they're showing Tony Clark in the dugout. Actually, it's more of a gray Fu Manchu. I sense a theme. I have a gray beard too. Well, I did, but I shaved it. And now I'm boring myself. Back to the game. Sweeney just about takes Mr. Agility's head off with a line drive up the middle. Buck bunts, and almost beats the throw, but Mr. Agility lives up to his nickname and makes a nice play. Leave it to the Sun Devil to put his team ahead of his stats. Crosby draws a walk. Man, I need one of those voice recognition things so I can just say my thoughts and it types them for me. This is a lot of work. Powell, hitting under .200, draws a walk to load the bases for Cabrera. This is trouble. Yikes, he drives Byrnes the Clown to the track, but it stays in the park. I think I'm going to shorten Byrnes the Clown to BTC. My goal is the have a nickname for every player on the team before the season is over.
Top of 3rd: I think everyone on this team is trying to hit a home run. Roberts hits yet another fly ball to start the inning. Parra hits one as well. Can Upton complete the trifecta? Nope, infield single. Upton has been playing well. How will Drew disappoint me today? Routine grounder to 2nd. Darin Sutton is already getting on my nerves. I see a MUTE button in the near future.
Bottom of 3rd: Mr. Agility strikes out Kennedy to start the inning. I'm having some difficulties, as I am typing with one hand right now. No, I'm not jerking off. I'm lying on the ground, leaning on my other arm. Both are poor excuses. Hmm, should I be lazy, or a pervert? I could be both, but that wouldn't leave me any free hands to type. Cust hits a high fly ball, and BTC makes it adventure, but gets the 2nd out. Holliday gets a single. This guy kills us. I'm glad he's out of the NL West. Holy crap, they have an amazing shift on for Giambi. Why don't these guys ever bunt? If it stays fair on the third base line, he's safe easily, even as slow as he is. It doesn't matter, as Giambi draws a walk. Christ, this game is BORING. I'm doing more surfing than watching right now. My ESPN streak is now a 3 game losing streak, which is the longest I've ever had. I think I'll pick a NASCAR event. That should keep the losing streak going. I don't know shit about NASCAR. My mom is a redneck NASCAR fan. D-Backs record third out. And fuck, what the hell is this? D-Back to basics? Imagine unfunny dudes trying to be funny while teaching baseball tips. Awesome. It's like a poor man's Baseball Bunch. Hold these thoughts, the inning has changed.
Top of 4th: Crap, my NASCAR pick didn't take. I guess the race started. I guess I'll pick Cleveland to beat Orlando. Special K draws a walk. I didn't know the Baseball Bunch was filmed in Tucson. Man, I used to watch that show religiously when I was a kid. The kids on the show were annoying as fuck, but Johnny Bench was my favorite player, so I was a regular viewer. Plus, it had the San Diego Chicken, before he became just the Chicken. And for your pleasure, check this out...
Is Tug McGraw high in this? Probably. It doesn't matter, I loved that show. Back to the boringness of the D-Backs game. Another walk. BTC does his speciality, and pops up. And Augie hits into a double play. Dammit Augie, if you don't quit sucking, I'm going to change my loyalties to Parra.
Bottom of 4th: Buck pops up. This game is two fucking hours old, and we are only in the 4th inning? In a 1-0 game? What the fuck is taking so long? Crosby grounds out. Wait, Mr. Agility has a little circle band aid on the back of his neck. What's that about? Did he get nicked getting a hair cut? Powell grounds out. I picked a real doozy to live blog.
Top of 5th: UCLA up 4-0. Looks like they will go to a deciding third game in that series. D-Backs are going to sit on a 1 run lead. Bad idea. Young leads off with a pop up. This offense is horrible. They just said that Young is twice the league average on pop ups. I wonder what BTC's average is. Roberts grounds out to the pitcher. I think I'm going to surf youtube for more blasts from my childhood. But wait, Parra is up. Not for long, as he grounds out.
Bottom of 5th: I always thought Electric Company kicked Seseme Street's ass. Two quick ground outs. I've officially lost interest in this game. BTC makes a diving catch, and the ball pops out when he hits the ground. He didn't need to dive, watching the replay. The ball hit the heel of his glove. THAT'S the BTC we've come to grow sick of. By the way, that was Cust. If they didn't have that ridiculous shift, Drew could have gotten to that pop up. Cust gets a double out of that. Holliday draws a walk. Back to Electric Company. I knew Irene Cara was one of the kids on that show, but here's something I didn't know. She was replaced by the actress who played Violet in the Willie Wonka movie that didn't suck. She was kind of a cute kid. I wonder if she's hot now. This will be my mission, since the game sucks. Giambi flies out.
Top of 6th: The actress' name is Denise Nickerson. According to IMDB, she played Lolita in a Broadway musical. I told you she was a cute kid. I feel like I need to put a disclaimer on this conversation, or else Chris Hansen is going to show up. Upton fouls out, and Drew walks. Special K hits into a double play. Sigh.
Bottom of 6th: I think this is a picture of modern day Violet. She's kinda old, but then I remember that the movie is probably close to 40 years old, so she's probably in her 50's. Sweeney leads off with a single. Here's another pic. Is she rocking the femullet? So I guess the verdict is - NOT HOT. But to be fair, I didn't realize how old she was. Well, that killed some time. I love the internet. Buck pops up. Crosby hits a single to right, and Parra almost gunned down Sweeney at third. Holy crap, that was a throw! A's got something going here. And fuck, wild pitch ties the game. Zavada, our newest minor league call up, is warming in the pen. Powell just blasted a 2 run homer to give the A's a 3-1 lead. Damn. Zavada has the coolest moustache in baseball right now. It looks like one of those old timey Civil War moustaches. Cabrera pops out, and Parra makes a diving catch to end the inning. Hey BTC, that's how you make a diving catch.
Top of 7th: That was Powell's first career home run. Great. UCLA up 5-0. Snyder leads off with a walk. BTC promptly hits into a double play. This offense sucks so bad, I can't think of a word stronger than suck. Augie tries a drag bunt, and barely gets out. We have 3 hits in 7 innings.
Bottom of 7th: Missouri trying to make a comeback in the last inning, as it's now a 5-2 game. Oh boy, here's Slaten. He just got called back up too. Cust strikes out, and Holliday grounds out. And because it's absolutely impossible for Slaten to get through an inning without giving up a run, Giambi hits a bomb. Sweeney pops up to end the inning. 4-1 A's. How many pop ups is that?
Top of 8th: Young actually gets a single. Who will hit into the double play this time? Roberts tried to, but it got by Cabrera. E6, Young to third. Parra comes up as the tying run. Oh, there's the double play. At least the runner on third scored. I guess it's back to thinking about childhood shows, and which girls grew up hot. Remember Little House on the Prarie? Laura was pretty fugly, but I always thought Mary was pretty cute. Yes, she's probably in her 50's too, but I've got to do something to pass the time during this snoozer of a game. That didn't take long. Yep, she still looks pretty good, although a lot of freckles. Man, I'm such a pig. One of the great things about being a guy. Upton strikes out.
Bottom of 8th: Slaten still pitching. Buck flies out to BTC, and that's it for Slaten. Vasquez in to face Crosby. He flies out. Powell draws a walk, and then Cabrera singles. And another wild pitch puts runners on 2nd and 3rd. Kennedy singles, driving the runners in, but gets thrown out at 2nd. 6-2 A's.
Top of 9th: Ziegler in to pitch. Drew grounds out. Special K with one last chance to keep his hitting streak alive. No such luck, as he lives up to his nickname. Tracy hits for Snyder, and gets an infield single to prolong my misery. Montera pinch hitting for BTC. Montero gets a single as well. Augie is up, and let's see if he can keep this going. He pops up to end this game fittingly. Good, this was a long game that was boring as well.
Showing posts with label live blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label live blog. Show all posts
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
BEAT LA! BEAT LA! (another D-Backs live blog)
Coming to you live from my living room, and missing the top of the first inning. We pick up action with Lopez leading off bottom of the 1st.
Bottom of 1st: Um, didn't I just say that? Still no start for Augie. I think he might be the only guy on the roster without a start this season. James McDonald pitching for LA. And a strikeout to start the game. Fucking Lopez. Byrnes bats 2nd. Yes, the 4th different lineup in 4 games. Melvin's a genius. Weak groundout for the 2nd out. Drew, one of the only guys hitting well right now, grounds out. BTW, this is McDonald's first career start. If we can't hit him, it's going to be a long season.
Top of 2nd: Garland, the D-Back's newest acquisition, is pitching tonight. He got through the first inning walking Manny, and then a botched pickoff, but that was it. Back in real time, Drew makes a fantastic diving stop, but Tracy can't pick the bounced throw. Kemp hits a ground ball to Lopez, but they can only get the out at 2nd. Again, where's Augie? He would have turned two. Kemp steals second, and Lopez can't make the tag in time, although it looked like they got him to me. And the replay shows the ump blew this call. Even they hate Lopez. On a side note, Matt Williams is doing the color for this game. This guy has as much personality as a soap dish. I think it's time to start drinking. Garland walks Blake to give runners on 1st and 2nd with one out. Ausmas finds a hole between Lopez and Tracy, and Kemp scores. 1-0 Dodgers, and the fans start to boo already. However, this whiskey sour I made is freaking AWESOME. See, I can be positive. Now the pitcher is up, trying to bunt, and Garland can't throw a fucking strike. It's only the fourth game, and this team is killing me already. However, with a 3-1 count, the pitcher swings (?) and hits into a double play. I'm chanting "ROOKIE" while my daughter looks at me like I'm an idiot.
Bottom of 2nd: The announcers are just as confused as I am on that last play. They are showing Joe Torre, and for some reason I am immensely amused by the fact that his bald spot is peeking out below his cap. Connor flies out to start the inning. Tracy grounds out, and now Reynolds is up. His nickname is The Sheriff. After last season, I call him Special K. Guess what he did? 6 up, 6 down, to a guy making his first career start. Fuck me.
Top of 3rd: I love ESPN's streak for the cash. I have my best streak ever going right now at 8. I picked the Suns to beat Memphis. I can't believe this is going to end my streak. Phoenix sports is absolute shit right now. The Cardinals are the best team. Unbelievable. I missed the first out during this. FSN is smart, and is talking about Pat Tillman right now. Even they know this game sucks. Orlando Hudson, a guy who should have been replaced by Augie, draws a walk. Is it time for Manny to get us? No, he hits a grounder to Reynolds. However, he bobbles it and can only get the out at first. Not an error, but another miscue for Reynolds. Let's see, he set a record for strikeouts, led the league in errors. Yep, that's our guy. For those that don't know, he came straight from AA to the majors. He started out pretty well, but makes way too many mistakes. That's what happens when you skip AAA. Ethier grounds out to end the inning. Good, that guy always kills us. He's a Sun Devil, of course he's clutch. 1-0 Dodgers.
Bottom of 3rd: It's a final, Grizzlies 106, Suns 89. Way to compete. Sad thing is, I was second guessing this pick, thinking the Suns might not have much intensity after being eliminated from the playoffs. But then I remembered the Grizzlies are horrible. Way to be professional, Suns. I blame Steve Kerr. Chris Young just blasted one over the left field wall to tie it up. Atta boy Chris, THAT'S how you welcome someone to the big leagues. Snyder flies out. I think Manny Ramirez should just go all out and have a dread beard as well. Wow, they just showed some chick in the crowd practically dry humping the guy next to her. Yeah, she was holding a beer. Dude thinks he's getting lucky tonight, but it's only the third inning. She doesn't know how to pace herself. I hope he likes puke. Garland just walked. OK Lopez, get a hit here, and I will not give you any crap for the rest of the game. Matt Williams just gave us some awesome insight by saying "I'd bet the farm a changeup is coming here." Fastball. The worst part about Matt Williams is that I have a man-crush on Mark Grace, so this is adding insult to injury listening to him instead. Lopez walks. Not a hit, so let the crap continue. Byrnes gets hit with the first pitch he sees, and now the bases are loaded with Drew coming up. They just showed a stat saying Drew hits .182 with the bases loaded in his career. Yikes. McDonald definitely showing some nerves here as the count goes to 3-1. Drew fouls off the next pitch, and the first BEAT LA chant starts. Ball four, walked in a run. Four straight batters reach without a hit. McDonald throws a 55 foot curveball, which prompts a visit to the mound. He's definitely rattled. Jackson needs to make him pay. Action in the bullpen as the count goes to 3-1. Jackson pokes a shot into right which scores two runs. 4-1 D-Backs. That's it for McDonald. And a perfect time for me to piss. Trancoso in relief. Tracy hits a deep fly ball out to center to score Drew from 3rd. Reynolds up, and I'm predicting his 2nd K to end the inning. Jackson steals 2nd, which will make the impending strikeout a little more painful. I was wrong about the strikeout, weak dribbler to the pitcher instead. Good inning though. 5-1 D-Backs.
Top of 4th: FSN is showing commercials for Digger merchandise, that fucking rodent that they use as a mascot for NASCAR. Seriously? Do people really buy that shit? I know a few people that watch NASCAR, and they all think he's annoying as fuck. Is there even such a thing as a casual NASCAR fan? Some questions may never be answered. Loney grounds out. OK, time for a rant. They have the AFLAC trivia question, and then the announcers answer it before the viewers can guess. This drives my batty. Give me a fucking chance, OK? Rant over. Kemp hits it pretty hard, but right at Chris Young. Blake flies out to Byrnes, who manages to stay on his feet for the catch.
Bottom of 4th: I picked out a great femullet in the last crowd shot. It's a gift of mine. Rain Man can count shit, I can find mullets in a crowd. Someday I'll figure out how to profit off of that. Chris Young leads off with a double. Looks like he's breaking out of his slump. Snyder pops up, and now it's time to see what they do with Garland. I'm not sure how many at bats he got in the AL. He's swinging. I think this is the right decision, even though it probably won't be pretty. Matt Williams is killing me. He's claiming since Garland is tall, he's probably played some basketball, so he has agility. Uh, Matt? Gheorghe Muresan was tall. You're an idiot. Garland grounds out advancing the runner to third. Lopez gets a hit to drive Young home. Byrnes drives one off of the pitchers mound, causing a weird bounce away from the second baseman. Lopez advances to third. I may have to start pushing for Augie to play third if Lopez keeps playing well. Drew grounds out to end the inning. 6-1 D-Backs.
Top of 5th: Hey look, it's Gretzky. I forgot to mention the Coyotes when talking about how much Phoenix sports suck. Ausmas grounds out, and then Trancoso strikes out. Furcal hits a weak grounder by the pitcher to first, and Tracy throws it about 7 feet in the air. Good thing Garland is 6'6" tall. He snares it with a nice reach. What agility. Or is it height?
Bottom of 5th: I had some Vietnamese vodka with dinner tonight. Not bad. However, the combination of the vodka and whiskey has given me a nice buzz. My focus will not be as good, so deal with it. Jackson grounds out. Shot of the folks at the pool. No, that's not a euphemism. Why is it that whenever anyone is at the pool, they have to act like total douchebags? Tracy flies out. Special K comes up and gets a single up the middle. Hmm, he hasn't struck out since I gave him a derisive nickname. Coincedence? Chris Young is up, let's see if he can keep his good night going. He scorches one down the line, but the third baseman makes a great stop. Not so great was the throw, which went into the dugout. Score it a hit and an error. Runners on second and third. Make that bases loaded as Snyder draws an intentional walk. OK, here comes Mr. Agility. You know, I have to admit, his swing is pretty nice. He doesn't swing like a pitcher. However, he hits like one, as he strikes out on a couple of nasty curveballs. 6-1 D-Backs.
Top of 6th: I think Stuart Appleby should beat Ryuji Imada in the Masters tomorrow, don't you? Time to start a new streak. Hudson grounds out. Not his best return so far. Manny hits one past a diving Drew. Ethier hits into a double play to end the inning.
Bottom of 6th: Lopez grounds out. The crowd is doing the stupid dance I hate. I don't know if it has a name or not, but it looks like they are jerking off a couple of horses. Sexy. Byrnes and Drew fly out to end the inning. Still 6-1. Time for more whiskey.
Top of 7th: Loney flies out as I enjoy my next whiskey sour. I hate places that use Minute Maid to make whiskey sours. Does that make me a snob that I have to ask if that's what they're going to do when I order one? Kemp laces a double to left. Mr. Agility has been pitching well today, hopefully this isn't a sign that he's tiring. Question answered as Blake blasts one over the left field wall. And now, the bullpen is active. Byrnes tracks down a deep shot by Ausmus. That almost sounds dirty. I think for the bottom of the 7th, I am only going to speak in sentences that sound dirty. A little exercise to increase my writing creativity. Hopefully it's a quick inning. Pinch hitter with a Polish name that I'm not even going to try and spell in my current state. Mr. Agility gets the pinch hitter to fly out to end the inning. 6-3 D-Backs.
Bottom of 7th (the innuendo inning): Mota coming for Trancoso. Connor takes a couple of balls before grounding out. Tracy sends a screamer to Ethier. Blake gobbles up Special K's ball to end the inning.
Top of 8th: That was difficult. I'd like to say because I have problems resorting to toilet humor, but that's just not the case. Pena comes in for Mr. Agility. Nice debut for the D-Backs against a tough lineup. Hey look, Augie's at third! MVP! MVP! Is Bob Melvin reading my blog too? He's being pretty discreet about it. Furcal leads off with a double. We might have Meatball Tony today. Hudson hits a high chopper that Drew makes a nice play on. Furcal to third. C'mon Augie, distract him and then get the pickoff. You can do it! Manny hits one up the middle to make it a 6-4 game, and now Ethier is up. The D-Back killer at the plate as the tying run. Fuck. That's it for Pena, definitely Meatball Tony today. Oh goodie, Schoenweis is in. He gets Ethier to ground to first, Manny advancing to second. Loney to the plate. If Schoenweis gives up the hit here, he is officially the Jewish Mike Myers. Myers was our last lefty specialist, and the only thing he specialized in was giving up hits to lefties. It got so bad he would get booed when he was warming up. Loney works a full count. Maybe Manny will space out and leave on the pitch. Nope, a hard ground out to second. I'll have to come up with a new nickname for Schoenweis.
Bottom of 8th: Another reason Augie should be starting in front of Lopez is that Augie doesn't have a ridiculous chinstrap. I hate those things. Chris Young up, and needs a triple for the cycle. I'm not holding my breath. Mota walks him. Snyder is bunting. Makes sense, I assume with the double switch that Augie is on deck. Get that runner in scoring position. Snyder gets the bunt down successfully, and it's AUGIE TIME!! And of course, he drills it to right, scoring Young. MVP! MVP! Why isn't he starting? Unfortunately, that single knocks his slugging percentage to 1.500. But like the team player he is, he doesn't worry about stats, he just needed to get that extra run home. And the crowd is changing BEAT LA again. Augie's drawing throws to first. Smart move by Mota. Can't forget about Augie. He can beat you in so many ways. Lopez sees that his starting job is in jeopardy and hits a deep double. Augie flies around the bases, scoring another run. Lopez spent too much time admiring his shot, and should have ended up on third. And this time I'm not being snide, he really thought it was gone and was jogging. Byrnes draws a walk, and I can't believe Mota is still in there. I spoke too soon, here comes Torre. Ohman comes in to pitch, and almost picks Lopez off of second. Drew pops up for the second out. Jackson is now up. I like Connor, even though he looks a little retarded. Not as bad as Tyler Hansborough, but still. Jackson comes through with an RBI single. Tracy grounds out to end the inning. 9-4 D-Backs.
Top of 9th: Qualls, the closer, comes in. He spent a LONG time warming up in the bullpen last inning. Hopefully it doesn't affect him. He strikes out Kemp to start the inning. Blake takes a called third strike for the second out as the BEAT LA chants are getting louder. Ausmas fights off a pitch and gets a seeing eye single to right. Loretta coming in to pinch hit. He grounds out to Drew to end the game.
Season stats for Augie: AVG 1.000, SLG 1.500, OBP 1.000, OPS 2.500, 1 RBI, 1 R. More importantly, the record when Augie plays is 2-0. When he doesn't, 0-2. I think that should tell you something.
Bottom of 1st: Um, didn't I just say that? Still no start for Augie. I think he might be the only guy on the roster without a start this season. James McDonald pitching for LA. And a strikeout to start the game. Fucking Lopez. Byrnes bats 2nd. Yes, the 4th different lineup in 4 games. Melvin's a genius. Weak groundout for the 2nd out. Drew, one of the only guys hitting well right now, grounds out. BTW, this is McDonald's first career start. If we can't hit him, it's going to be a long season.
Top of 2nd: Garland, the D-Back's newest acquisition, is pitching tonight. He got through the first inning walking Manny, and then a botched pickoff, but that was it. Back in real time, Drew makes a fantastic diving stop, but Tracy can't pick the bounced throw. Kemp hits a ground ball to Lopez, but they can only get the out at 2nd. Again, where's Augie? He would have turned two. Kemp steals second, and Lopez can't make the tag in time, although it looked like they got him to me. And the replay shows the ump blew this call. Even they hate Lopez. On a side note, Matt Williams is doing the color for this game. This guy has as much personality as a soap dish. I think it's time to start drinking. Garland walks Blake to give runners on 1st and 2nd with one out. Ausmas finds a hole between Lopez and Tracy, and Kemp scores. 1-0 Dodgers, and the fans start to boo already. However, this whiskey sour I made is freaking AWESOME. See, I can be positive. Now the pitcher is up, trying to bunt, and Garland can't throw a fucking strike. It's only the fourth game, and this team is killing me already. However, with a 3-1 count, the pitcher swings (?) and hits into a double play. I'm chanting "ROOKIE" while my daughter looks at me like I'm an idiot.
Bottom of 2nd: The announcers are just as confused as I am on that last play. They are showing Joe Torre, and for some reason I am immensely amused by the fact that his bald spot is peeking out below his cap. Connor flies out to start the inning. Tracy grounds out, and now Reynolds is up. His nickname is The Sheriff. After last season, I call him Special K. Guess what he did? 6 up, 6 down, to a guy making his first career start. Fuck me.
Top of 3rd: I love ESPN's streak for the cash. I have my best streak ever going right now at 8. I picked the Suns to beat Memphis. I can't believe this is going to end my streak. Phoenix sports is absolute shit right now. The Cardinals are the best team. Unbelievable. I missed the first out during this. FSN is smart, and is talking about Pat Tillman right now. Even they know this game sucks. Orlando Hudson, a guy who should have been replaced by Augie, draws a walk. Is it time for Manny to get us? No, he hits a grounder to Reynolds. However, he bobbles it and can only get the out at first. Not an error, but another miscue for Reynolds. Let's see, he set a record for strikeouts, led the league in errors. Yep, that's our guy. For those that don't know, he came straight from AA to the majors. He started out pretty well, but makes way too many mistakes. That's what happens when you skip AAA. Ethier grounds out to end the inning. Good, that guy always kills us. He's a Sun Devil, of course he's clutch. 1-0 Dodgers.
Bottom of 3rd: It's a final, Grizzlies 106, Suns 89. Way to compete. Sad thing is, I was second guessing this pick, thinking the Suns might not have much intensity after being eliminated from the playoffs. But then I remembered the Grizzlies are horrible. Way to be professional, Suns. I blame Steve Kerr. Chris Young just blasted one over the left field wall to tie it up. Atta boy Chris, THAT'S how you welcome someone to the big leagues. Snyder flies out. I think Manny Ramirez should just go all out and have a dread beard as well. Wow, they just showed some chick in the crowd practically dry humping the guy next to her. Yeah, she was holding a beer. Dude thinks he's getting lucky tonight, but it's only the third inning. She doesn't know how to pace herself. I hope he likes puke. Garland just walked. OK Lopez, get a hit here, and I will not give you any crap for the rest of the game. Matt Williams just gave us some awesome insight by saying "I'd bet the farm a changeup is coming here." Fastball. The worst part about Matt Williams is that I have a man-crush on Mark Grace, so this is adding insult to injury listening to him instead. Lopez walks. Not a hit, so let the crap continue. Byrnes gets hit with the first pitch he sees, and now the bases are loaded with Drew coming up. They just showed a stat saying Drew hits .182 with the bases loaded in his career. Yikes. McDonald definitely showing some nerves here as the count goes to 3-1. Drew fouls off the next pitch, and the first BEAT LA chant starts. Ball four, walked in a run. Four straight batters reach without a hit. McDonald throws a 55 foot curveball, which prompts a visit to the mound. He's definitely rattled. Jackson needs to make him pay. Action in the bullpen as the count goes to 3-1. Jackson pokes a shot into right which scores two runs. 4-1 D-Backs. That's it for McDonald. And a perfect time for me to piss. Trancoso in relief. Tracy hits a deep fly ball out to center to score Drew from 3rd. Reynolds up, and I'm predicting his 2nd K to end the inning. Jackson steals 2nd, which will make the impending strikeout a little more painful. I was wrong about the strikeout, weak dribbler to the pitcher instead. Good inning though. 5-1 D-Backs.
Top of 4th: FSN is showing commercials for Digger merchandise, that fucking rodent that they use as a mascot for NASCAR. Seriously? Do people really buy that shit? I know a few people that watch NASCAR, and they all think he's annoying as fuck. Is there even such a thing as a casual NASCAR fan? Some questions may never be answered. Loney grounds out. OK, time for a rant. They have the AFLAC trivia question, and then the announcers answer it before the viewers can guess. This drives my batty. Give me a fucking chance, OK? Rant over. Kemp hits it pretty hard, but right at Chris Young. Blake flies out to Byrnes, who manages to stay on his feet for the catch.
Bottom of 4th: I picked out a great femullet in the last crowd shot. It's a gift of mine. Rain Man can count shit, I can find mullets in a crowd. Someday I'll figure out how to profit off of that. Chris Young leads off with a double. Looks like he's breaking out of his slump. Snyder pops up, and now it's time to see what they do with Garland. I'm not sure how many at bats he got in the AL. He's swinging. I think this is the right decision, even though it probably won't be pretty. Matt Williams is killing me. He's claiming since Garland is tall, he's probably played some basketball, so he has agility. Uh, Matt? Gheorghe Muresan was tall. You're an idiot. Garland grounds out advancing the runner to third. Lopez gets a hit to drive Young home. Byrnes drives one off of the pitchers mound, causing a weird bounce away from the second baseman. Lopez advances to third. I may have to start pushing for Augie to play third if Lopez keeps playing well. Drew grounds out to end the inning. 6-1 D-Backs.
Top of 5th: Hey look, it's Gretzky. I forgot to mention the Coyotes when talking about how much Phoenix sports suck. Ausmas grounds out, and then Trancoso strikes out. Furcal hits a weak grounder by the pitcher to first, and Tracy throws it about 7 feet in the air. Good thing Garland is 6'6" tall. He snares it with a nice reach. What agility. Or is it height?
Bottom of 5th: I had some Vietnamese vodka with dinner tonight. Not bad. However, the combination of the vodka and whiskey has given me a nice buzz. My focus will not be as good, so deal with it. Jackson grounds out. Shot of the folks at the pool. No, that's not a euphemism. Why is it that whenever anyone is at the pool, they have to act like total douchebags? Tracy flies out. Special K comes up and gets a single up the middle. Hmm, he hasn't struck out since I gave him a derisive nickname. Coincedence? Chris Young is up, let's see if he can keep his good night going. He scorches one down the line, but the third baseman makes a great stop. Not so great was the throw, which went into the dugout. Score it a hit and an error. Runners on second and third. Make that bases loaded as Snyder draws an intentional walk. OK, here comes Mr. Agility. You know, I have to admit, his swing is pretty nice. He doesn't swing like a pitcher. However, he hits like one, as he strikes out on a couple of nasty curveballs. 6-1 D-Backs.
Top of 6th: I think Stuart Appleby should beat Ryuji Imada in the Masters tomorrow, don't you? Time to start a new streak. Hudson grounds out. Not his best return so far. Manny hits one past a diving Drew. Ethier hits into a double play to end the inning.
Bottom of 6th: Lopez grounds out. The crowd is doing the stupid dance I hate. I don't know if it has a name or not, but it looks like they are jerking off a couple of horses. Sexy. Byrnes and Drew fly out to end the inning. Still 6-1. Time for more whiskey.
Top of 7th: Loney flies out as I enjoy my next whiskey sour. I hate places that use Minute Maid to make whiskey sours. Does that make me a snob that I have to ask if that's what they're going to do when I order one? Kemp laces a double to left. Mr. Agility has been pitching well today, hopefully this isn't a sign that he's tiring. Question answered as Blake blasts one over the left field wall. And now, the bullpen is active. Byrnes tracks down a deep shot by Ausmus. That almost sounds dirty. I think for the bottom of the 7th, I am only going to speak in sentences that sound dirty. A little exercise to increase my writing creativity. Hopefully it's a quick inning. Pinch hitter with a Polish name that I'm not even going to try and spell in my current state. Mr. Agility gets the pinch hitter to fly out to end the inning. 6-3 D-Backs.
Bottom of 7th (the innuendo inning): Mota coming for Trancoso. Connor takes a couple of balls before grounding out. Tracy sends a screamer to Ethier. Blake gobbles up Special K's ball to end the inning.
Top of 8th: That was difficult. I'd like to say because I have problems resorting to toilet humor, but that's just not the case. Pena comes in for Mr. Agility. Nice debut for the D-Backs against a tough lineup. Hey look, Augie's at third! MVP! MVP! Is Bob Melvin reading my blog too? He's being pretty discreet about it. Furcal leads off with a double. We might have Meatball Tony today. Hudson hits a high chopper that Drew makes a nice play on. Furcal to third. C'mon Augie, distract him and then get the pickoff. You can do it! Manny hits one up the middle to make it a 6-4 game, and now Ethier is up. The D-Back killer at the plate as the tying run. Fuck. That's it for Pena, definitely Meatball Tony today. Oh goodie, Schoenweis is in. He gets Ethier to ground to first, Manny advancing to second. Loney to the plate. If Schoenweis gives up the hit here, he is officially the Jewish Mike Myers. Myers was our last lefty specialist, and the only thing he specialized in was giving up hits to lefties. It got so bad he would get booed when he was warming up. Loney works a full count. Maybe Manny will space out and leave on the pitch. Nope, a hard ground out to second. I'll have to come up with a new nickname for Schoenweis.
Bottom of 8th: Another reason Augie should be starting in front of Lopez is that Augie doesn't have a ridiculous chinstrap. I hate those things. Chris Young up, and needs a triple for the cycle. I'm not holding my breath. Mota walks him. Snyder is bunting. Makes sense, I assume with the double switch that Augie is on deck. Get that runner in scoring position. Snyder gets the bunt down successfully, and it's AUGIE TIME!! And of course, he drills it to right, scoring Young. MVP! MVP! Why isn't he starting? Unfortunately, that single knocks his slugging percentage to 1.500. But like the team player he is, he doesn't worry about stats, he just needed to get that extra run home. And the crowd is changing BEAT LA again. Augie's drawing throws to first. Smart move by Mota. Can't forget about Augie. He can beat you in so many ways. Lopez sees that his starting job is in jeopardy and hits a deep double. Augie flies around the bases, scoring another run. Lopez spent too much time admiring his shot, and should have ended up on third. And this time I'm not being snide, he really thought it was gone and was jogging. Byrnes draws a walk, and I can't believe Mota is still in there. I spoke too soon, here comes Torre. Ohman comes in to pitch, and almost picks Lopez off of second. Drew pops up for the second out. Jackson is now up. I like Connor, even though he looks a little retarded. Not as bad as Tyler Hansborough, but still. Jackson comes through with an RBI single. Tracy grounds out to end the inning. 9-4 D-Backs.
Top of 9th: Qualls, the closer, comes in. He spent a LONG time warming up in the bullpen last inning. Hopefully it doesn't affect him. He strikes out Kemp to start the inning. Blake takes a called third strike for the second out as the BEAT LA chants are getting louder. Ausmas fights off a pitch and gets a seeing eye single to right. Loretta coming in to pinch hit. He grounds out to Drew to end the game.
Season stats for Augie: AVG 1.000, SLG 1.500, OBP 1.000, OPS 2.500, 1 RBI, 1 R. More importantly, the record when Augie plays is 2-0. When he doesn't, 0-2. I think that should tell you something.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Augie for MVP (and opening day live blog)
Today begins Augie Ojeda's quest for MVP. Yes, the fellow on my avatar will rise up and shock the world this year. I thought it would be fun to track his progress as the season goes along. Unfortunately, when I talk about Augie, the most common response is, "Who?" This is un-fucking-acceptable. I will use my blogging powers to educate the world of his greatness. This will be awesome! And as an added bonus, I will be live blogging opening day for you. I tune in to opening day on the radio when I hear...
"Batting first, at 2nd base, Felipe Lopez."
Wait a minute, where's Augie? WTF? This is bullshit! I'm now pissed off, and we haven't even thrown a single pitch in the season. How can I blog the awesomeness of Augie if he isn't even playing? Lopez better fucking bring it.
Bottom of 1st: Lopez leads off the game with a home run. Bah, it was a bad pitch. Augie would have hit it further.
Top of 2nd: I didn't think it was possible, but I hate Bud Selig more than ever. I have to work from my desk for the rest of the afternoon, so I can't listen to the radio in the lab today. However, I can listen online. I find the station, and it tells me that due to MLB rules, they can't do streaming of the D-Back games. So I check out MLB.com, and they want to charge me to listen to the game. Fuck you Bud! Gametracker is now on.
Bottom of 2nd: Check out this article. Hopefully MLB won't charge you to read it. Looks like I'm not the only one unhappy with the starting lineup. Still don't know why they didn't mention Augie. Also, Chris Snyder just doubled home Connor Jackson to make it a 2-0 game. He crushed that ball. Actually, I don't think crushed balls and Chris Snyder should be mentioned together. And Lopez leaves Snyder stuck on second to end the inning. Choker.
End of 2nd: D-Backs lead the Rockies 2-0. Why aren't the Rockies considered our big rival? It makes sense. Both of us are young teams. We're in the same division. And all the California teams all hate each other more than either of us. Seriously, this could be a big rivalry. I could learn to hate Denver. They've had two of the biggest whiny bitch QB's in Elway and Cutler.
Top of 3rd: Lopez's choke is apparently affecting Brandon Webb. Runners and 2nd and 3rd, one out. Groundout to 2nd, runner scores. Augie would have used his big guns to get the out at home. This second choke job of the game has Webb really rattled, as he's walked the bases loaded with Hawpe coming up. And Hawpe just cleared the bases with a double. It says he advanced to third on the throw. I bet Lopez missed the cutoff. Webb gets the third out, but the damage is done. Rockies lead 4-2.
Bottom of 3rd: My boss' cubicle is right next to mine. He is talking to his wife on the phone. Whenever he talks to her, he uses baby talk. It's disgusting. He uses this sing-song voice, makes his R's sound like W's, and his S's sound like SH's. So when he says "I'm really sorry", it sounds like "I'm weally shorry" in a stupid voice. I have to listen to this crap, but I can't listen to the radio. Sigh. D-backs making some noise, runners on 1st and 2nd, nobody out, Chad Tracy up. I like Chad. He was really cool when I met him in AAA ball here in Tucson. I can't wait to go to another game. Oh wait, we don't have a fucking team anymore. And Big Red comes through with a single, scoring our Chris Young. 4-3, runners on 1st and 3rd, and Eric Byrnes coming up. This is the perfect spot for him to hit a pop up to third. I'm wrong, as he hits a fly ball to center, scoring Drew. Tie game. No pitching today. Tony Clark hits a two run bomb, making it 6-4, and making my lady friend very happy. Clark is her favorite player. And that was the last straw, as the Rockies make a pitching change. Sorry Rockies, we just shelled your ace. Rusch comes in as relief and ends the inning.
Top of 4th: For fuck's sake, what is going on? Tulowitzki leads off with a homer. Did they shorten the fences? And then Iannetta follows with another shot. Tie game. Webb is sucking today. I think they need to pinch hit Augie for him. Webb finally settles down and retires the side.
Bottom of 4th: Lopez leads off with his 2nd homer of the game. He must have realized Augie is lurking right behind him on the depth chart. The rest of the side goes down in order. 7-6 D-Backs.
Top of 5th: Oh God, Slaten relieved Webb. I hope my lady friend isn't watching. Every time he pitches while she is watching, he gets shelled. It's gotten so bad that as soon as he comes in the game, she leaves the room. I think my superstitions are rubbing off on her. Maybe she doesn't realize it's a day game. Hawpe has been nails today as he drills a two out double. He's 3-3 with 3 RBI's. Nice start to the season. Crap, she must be watching. A two out rally scores a run, tying the game. And that's it for Slater. Nice to see he's picked up where he left off last season. Billy Buckner comes in, and I'm realizing we are in huge trouble if our starters don't pitch complete games. This bullpen is bad. And right on cue, Buckner throws two wild pitches to advance the runner to third. Right as this is going on, my phone rings. It's my lady friend. Her words? "Why do they keep bringing Slaten into close games?" I knew she was watching. Buckner manages to keep the runner on third by striking out Tulowitzki. 7-7 game.
Bottom of 5th: Byrnes strikes out swinging for the second time. He's in mid-season form. Clark hits his 2nd bomb of the game. When it comes to my lady friend, he is the anti-Slaten. Congrats Tony, you've just chased the second pitcher of the game. The rest of the inning is uneventful.
Top of 6th: I think I've figured it out. They should bring Augie in to pitch. He can't do any worse than anyone else right now. Unfortunately, Buckner is back out there. He promptly confirms my fears by walking the first batter. BREAKING NEWS: CBS is claiming that Memphis announces Josh Pastner as their new basketball coach. The reaction from Umbrella? BWAHAHAHA. OK, back to the game. My gametracker has been stuck on a 1-1 count for several minutes now. This is not good. It just unfroze in time to see that the inning is over. Way to go Billy.
Bottom of 6th: I just looked up to see when Billy Buckner was born. It was before the Red Sox-Mets World Series. Damn, I can't blame his parents for the name. Do you think that is why he goes by Billy, instead of Bill? I personally would stick with William. Ryan Roberts (who?) pinch hitting for Buckner. Where the fuck is Augie in this situation? It's only a one run game, let's get the future MVP in there. I had to look Ryan Roberts up. This is his second career at bat. However, he makes the most of it with a leadoff single. Augie would have stretched that into a double. Lopez is up to bat, and he caused my gametracker to freeze again. I'll bet he started a brawl. And now, we've reverted back to the top of the 6th, where it was frozen before. This sucks. Gametracker is fucking up now. I think Lopez is on first, with Roberts on 2nd, but I'm not sure. Young lines out to third, and Roberts gets doubled off of 2nd. THAT'S why you don't throw guys with one career at bat into close games. Augie would still be on 2nd base. Embree comes in as the new reliever, and gametracker shows him wearing an A's cap. I blame Bud Selig for this. Lopez gets thrown out at 2nd to end the inning. First inning the D-Backs haven't scored this game. This inning also showed how important Augie is to this team. Bob Melvin better figure this out quick.
Top of 7th: Gametracker is showing an ad for MLB.TV during the break. I am continuing to get pissed off over this. Some dude named Schoeneweis is now pitching for the D-Backs. I've never heard of him. Gametracker doesn't even have a picture for him. Before I can look him up, he promptly gives up a lead off home run. This is followed by a single. According to the wiki, he's been around a bit. Why doesn't gametracker have a photo for him? Also, he has only given up one career home run to a lefty. In one at bat with the D-Backs, he's doubled that. Perfect. He was also named in the Mitchell report. Looks like I have another reliever to hate. He gets a couple of outs, and is relieved by Tony Pena. Which Pena are we going to get today, Nasty Tony, or Meatball Tony? Pena gets a K to end the inning.
Bottom of 7th: For the 7th inning stretch, I decided to take a shit and missed the bottom of the 7th. It looks like Chad Tracy hit a home run, and nothing else happened. 9-8 D-Backs.
Top of 8th: Tracy's home run was the fifth D-Backs homer in the game. I looked up what the team record is, and that one tied the record. I can't find what the combined team record for the D-Backs is, but we're currently sitting at 8. Pena retires the first two batters. Hoping I don't jinx him, it looks like we've got Nasty Tony today. He strikes out Barnes to end the inning.
Bottom of 8th: I'm really hoping for some insurance runs here. I haven't seen any spring training games, so I'm not sure who the closer is, but I'm assuming it's Qualls. I don't have a ton of confidence in a one run game. Pitcher's spot is due up 2nd this inning, so here's hoping for an Augie at bat. Snyder flies out, and coming up to bat is...AUGIE!!! Hell yeah! And what do you know, he doubles to left. MVP! MVP! As long as Lopez doesn't choke, and puts the ball in play, Augie will probably score that much needed insurance run. Lopez grounded out, but Augie still hustled his way to third. This guy can do it all. Unfortunately, Young strikes out to end the inning. Augie's teammates let him down again. Let's hope they do the double switch and leave him in the game at 2nd.
Top of 9th: Gametracker still showing MLB.TV ads. Just rub our noses in it. This is like giving out Ding Dongs at a weight watchers meeting. Top of the order coming up for the Rockies, and it is indeed Qualls as the closer. And hey, Augie stays in at third base. He's so versatile, he can play any position, including pitcher and catcher. Qualls retires the first batter. The second batter grounds out, and it is up to Helton. He grounds out to end the game. D-Backs win a 9-8 slugfest.
Season stats for Augie: AVG 1.000, SLG 2.000, OBP 1.000, OPS 3.000. Hall of fame numbers.
"Batting first, at 2nd base, Felipe Lopez."
Wait a minute, where's Augie? WTF? This is bullshit! I'm now pissed off, and we haven't even thrown a single pitch in the season. How can I blog the awesomeness of Augie if he isn't even playing? Lopez better fucking bring it.
Bottom of 1st: Lopez leads off the game with a home run. Bah, it was a bad pitch. Augie would have hit it further.
Top of 2nd: I didn't think it was possible, but I hate Bud Selig more than ever. I have to work from my desk for the rest of the afternoon, so I can't listen to the radio in the lab today. However, I can listen online. I find the station, and it tells me that due to MLB rules, they can't do streaming of the D-Back games. So I check out MLB.com, and they want to charge me to listen to the game. Fuck you Bud! Gametracker is now on.
Bottom of 2nd: Check out this article. Hopefully MLB won't charge you to read it. Looks like I'm not the only one unhappy with the starting lineup. Still don't know why they didn't mention Augie. Also, Chris Snyder just doubled home Connor Jackson to make it a 2-0 game. He crushed that ball. Actually, I don't think crushed balls and Chris Snyder should be mentioned together. And Lopez leaves Snyder stuck on second to end the inning. Choker.
End of 2nd: D-Backs lead the Rockies 2-0. Why aren't the Rockies considered our big rival? It makes sense. Both of us are young teams. We're in the same division. And all the California teams all hate each other more than either of us. Seriously, this could be a big rivalry. I could learn to hate Denver. They've had two of the biggest whiny bitch QB's in Elway and Cutler.
Top of 3rd: Lopez's choke is apparently affecting Brandon Webb. Runners and 2nd and 3rd, one out. Groundout to 2nd, runner scores. Augie would have used his big guns to get the out at home. This second choke job of the game has Webb really rattled, as he's walked the bases loaded with Hawpe coming up. And Hawpe just cleared the bases with a double. It says he advanced to third on the throw. I bet Lopez missed the cutoff. Webb gets the third out, but the damage is done. Rockies lead 4-2.
Bottom of 3rd: My boss' cubicle is right next to mine. He is talking to his wife on the phone. Whenever he talks to her, he uses baby talk. It's disgusting. He uses this sing-song voice, makes his R's sound like W's, and his S's sound like SH's. So when he says "I'm really sorry", it sounds like "I'm weally shorry" in a stupid voice. I have to listen to this crap, but I can't listen to the radio. Sigh. D-backs making some noise, runners on 1st and 2nd, nobody out, Chad Tracy up. I like Chad. He was really cool when I met him in AAA ball here in Tucson. I can't wait to go to another game. Oh wait, we don't have a fucking team anymore. And Big Red comes through with a single, scoring our Chris Young. 4-3, runners on 1st and 3rd, and Eric Byrnes coming up. This is the perfect spot for him to hit a pop up to third. I'm wrong, as he hits a fly ball to center, scoring Drew. Tie game. No pitching today. Tony Clark hits a two run bomb, making it 6-4, and making my lady friend very happy. Clark is her favorite player. And that was the last straw, as the Rockies make a pitching change. Sorry Rockies, we just shelled your ace. Rusch comes in as relief and ends the inning.
Top of 4th: For fuck's sake, what is going on? Tulowitzki leads off with a homer. Did they shorten the fences? And then Iannetta follows with another shot. Tie game. Webb is sucking today. I think they need to pinch hit Augie for him. Webb finally settles down and retires the side.
Bottom of 4th: Lopez leads off with his 2nd homer of the game. He must have realized Augie is lurking right behind him on the depth chart. The rest of the side goes down in order. 7-6 D-Backs.
Top of 5th: Oh God, Slaten relieved Webb. I hope my lady friend isn't watching. Every time he pitches while she is watching, he gets shelled. It's gotten so bad that as soon as he comes in the game, she leaves the room. I think my superstitions are rubbing off on her. Maybe she doesn't realize it's a day game. Hawpe has been nails today as he drills a two out double. He's 3-3 with 3 RBI's. Nice start to the season. Crap, she must be watching. A two out rally scores a run, tying the game. And that's it for Slater. Nice to see he's picked up where he left off last season. Billy Buckner comes in, and I'm realizing we are in huge trouble if our starters don't pitch complete games. This bullpen is bad. And right on cue, Buckner throws two wild pitches to advance the runner to third. Right as this is going on, my phone rings. It's my lady friend. Her words? "Why do they keep bringing Slaten into close games?" I knew she was watching. Buckner manages to keep the runner on third by striking out Tulowitzki. 7-7 game.
Bottom of 5th: Byrnes strikes out swinging for the second time. He's in mid-season form. Clark hits his 2nd bomb of the game. When it comes to my lady friend, he is the anti-Slaten. Congrats Tony, you've just chased the second pitcher of the game. The rest of the inning is uneventful.
Top of 6th: I think I've figured it out. They should bring Augie in to pitch. He can't do any worse than anyone else right now. Unfortunately, Buckner is back out there. He promptly confirms my fears by walking the first batter. BREAKING NEWS: CBS is claiming that Memphis announces Josh Pastner as their new basketball coach. The reaction from Umbrella? BWAHAHAHA. OK, back to the game. My gametracker has been stuck on a 1-1 count for several minutes now. This is not good. It just unfroze in time to see that the inning is over. Way to go Billy.
Bottom of 6th: I just looked up to see when Billy Buckner was born. It was before the Red Sox-Mets World Series. Damn, I can't blame his parents for the name. Do you think that is why he goes by Billy, instead of Bill? I personally would stick with William. Ryan Roberts (who?) pinch hitting for Buckner. Where the fuck is Augie in this situation? It's only a one run game, let's get the future MVP in there. I had to look Ryan Roberts up. This is his second career at bat. However, he makes the most of it with a leadoff single. Augie would have stretched that into a double. Lopez is up to bat, and he caused my gametracker to freeze again. I'll bet he started a brawl. And now, we've reverted back to the top of the 6th, where it was frozen before. This sucks. Gametracker is fucking up now. I think Lopez is on first, with Roberts on 2nd, but I'm not sure. Young lines out to third, and Roberts gets doubled off of 2nd. THAT'S why you don't throw guys with one career at bat into close games. Augie would still be on 2nd base. Embree comes in as the new reliever, and gametracker shows him wearing an A's cap. I blame Bud Selig for this. Lopez gets thrown out at 2nd to end the inning. First inning the D-Backs haven't scored this game. This inning also showed how important Augie is to this team. Bob Melvin better figure this out quick.
Top of 7th: Gametracker is showing an ad for MLB.TV during the break. I am continuing to get pissed off over this. Some dude named Schoeneweis is now pitching for the D-Backs. I've never heard of him. Gametracker doesn't even have a picture for him. Before I can look him up, he promptly gives up a lead off home run. This is followed by a single. According to the wiki, he's been around a bit. Why doesn't gametracker have a photo for him? Also, he has only given up one career home run to a lefty. In one at bat with the D-Backs, he's doubled that. Perfect. He was also named in the Mitchell report. Looks like I have another reliever to hate. He gets a couple of outs, and is relieved by Tony Pena. Which Pena are we going to get today, Nasty Tony, or Meatball Tony? Pena gets a K to end the inning.
Bottom of 7th: For the 7th inning stretch, I decided to take a shit and missed the bottom of the 7th. It looks like Chad Tracy hit a home run, and nothing else happened. 9-8 D-Backs.
Top of 8th: Tracy's home run was the fifth D-Backs homer in the game. I looked up what the team record is, and that one tied the record. I can't find what the combined team record for the D-Backs is, but we're currently sitting at 8. Pena retires the first two batters. Hoping I don't jinx him, it looks like we've got Nasty Tony today. He strikes out Barnes to end the inning.
Bottom of 8th: I'm really hoping for some insurance runs here. I haven't seen any spring training games, so I'm not sure who the closer is, but I'm assuming it's Qualls. I don't have a ton of confidence in a one run game. Pitcher's spot is due up 2nd this inning, so here's hoping for an Augie at bat. Snyder flies out, and coming up to bat is...AUGIE!!! Hell yeah! And what do you know, he doubles to left. MVP! MVP! As long as Lopez doesn't choke, and puts the ball in play, Augie will probably score that much needed insurance run. Lopez grounded out, but Augie still hustled his way to third. This guy can do it all. Unfortunately, Young strikes out to end the inning. Augie's teammates let him down again. Let's hope they do the double switch and leave him in the game at 2nd.
Top of 9th: Gametracker still showing MLB.TV ads. Just rub our noses in it. This is like giving out Ding Dongs at a weight watchers meeting. Top of the order coming up for the Rockies, and it is indeed Qualls as the closer. And hey, Augie stays in at third base. He's so versatile, he can play any position, including pitcher and catcher. Qualls retires the first batter. The second batter grounds out, and it is up to Helton. He grounds out to end the game. D-Backs win a 9-8 slugfest.
Season stats for Augie: AVG 1.000, SLG 2.000, OBP 1.000, OPS 3.000. Hall of fame numbers.
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